fatima dos ramos: never give up!
Recently Business Talk chatted to the new owner of Fresh The Laundry Hunters Retreat and asked Famita to share her story with our readers.
Her story is one of great courage, faith, perseverance and love.
This is her story....
“My 87-year-old dad first came to South Africa when he was 17. Started a business with his brother, then returned to his birthplace, Madeira, to marry my mom. Both then came by ship to SA. I was born from two very strict parents with a very strong Portuguese upbringing in Welkom, Free State, 52 years ago.
The youngest of 3 siblings, my oldest brother José, followed by Roberto, who sadly passed away last year. Did my schooling at the Convent of At Agnes. I then studied at the Technical College followed by other numerous courses until the age of 29. Got married moved to a farm town Winburg. It was in this historical old farm town that I gained my strength and courage. My first pregnancy was a bit dramatic, as it was when it was discovered that I only had one kidney.
Being Catholic at that time, I prayed that if Jude survived, I would name him after the patron Saint of the Impossible, St Jude Thadeus (Jesus's cousin). Jude, my son, was prematurely born, as the doctors were worried the kidney would not hold till the end of pregnancy.
He was tiny and had jaundice, he also immediately picked up a UTI. I in the other hand was walking with a large bag on a stand with pipes inserted to my side to drain the kidney. I just wanted my son to survive, but, with God's grace, we both did. Three months after, I had a kidney operation, I had the adhesions between my kidney and bladder that was causing the blockage removed. I was then given a smaller bag strapped to my leg for the drainage and had to have a catheter in for a further 3 months.
It was my choice to have a second child against doctor's orders. Thank God all went smoothly, much to the doctor's surprise. Today, Jude, the oldest, 18 years old and Baptista, 16 years old. My pride and joy! I could see the marriage was not going to work. Many fights broke up between my boy's father and myself. I did not have the courage to open a police file against him. I remained strong and after consulting with one lawyer after another for advice, I finally got the courage to divorce my husband.
The franchise divisional manager of my husband's store told asked me to apply for the branch manager position for the Usave Supermarket, a division of Checkers. After a successful interview, I was employed by them. Stayed with the company for 12 years, was transferred from a Usave to a Shoprite to Checkers. Loved my work, it was my everything. Would leave home in the early hours of the day and at times only arrived after 9pm. If that was not enough, I was also involved in the local radio station, Gold FM. I would co-host, organize vouches and giveaways. I was also given the task to come up with subjects or themes where the listeners could also participate. My love for animals remains strong till this day.
My home would not be complete without a pet, cat or dog. So often it felt that only my fur kids understood me. It was like there was no need for me to explain to them my hurts and my worries, they understood me. They would just lay next to me and kept me company.
After finishing with the retail company, a well-known butcher in the Free State approach me, asking if I would consider joining their management team. I took them up for the challenge. Spend 5 to 6 hours training in the production area, which mostly included working in a very cold environment and with my bare hands handling frozen stock. Gloves were offered, but my hands being so small, and their smallest gloves was too big for my tiny hands. II would work faster without the gloves but paid a price for my negligence.
My wrist would pain the whole night from handling the ice. At the time of training for the butcher management post, I was also called by a well-known restaurant Sietes. I took that challenge as well, as I felt I could conquer my fear of approaching people. With the two works, I would rely on school transport to take my boys school and back home. I would see them quickly in the hour I had between the two jobs. And if I'm lucky they would still be awake when I returned from the restaurant, which was usually 11:30 or midnight.
Should there be an afternoon off, I would tend to my parents needs, and if possible, take a quick drive to check my property in Winburg. Being active and busy tending to everyone's needs except my boys and my own. But that lifestyle kept me from overthinking. There was no time stress or worry......and to worship. I just wanted to live, just to exist. It was also at this point that I gave up TV. Everything was just too fake for me on the screen. I had to either keep busy or sleep. Relaxing Infront of the TV would just make me anxious. I would rely on Facebook to connect to the outside world. At a time reaching 3500 friends whom I never knew.
It was in January 2021 that I received another friend request. It's someone from Port Elizabeth. I told myself why not, he is too far to bother me. But from that friend request it developed into daily phone calls to visits. And finally making the decision to relocate log stock and barrel, cats and dogs included. How I got the courage to this, only God knows. It was though for my two sons.
All their lives we would call ourselves JBF BLING. Now it was no longer a family of three, but a family of five. Receiving instructions and seeing a man in and about the house was too much of an adjustment for them, let alone, being in a new school in a much bigger city than Welkom. It just felt too cramped. Mine and boy's space felt invaded. Our every move watched and criticised. Being home was like being closterphobic. I blamed all this uneasiness on me. What was I thinking moving in with a man I hardly knew.
After 14 months I moved out with my boys. We stayed in a backroom for approximately a month and a half before getting my own townhouse. Big enough for us including our animals. It was our happy place. The sunrise would come in the back room and stoep and lounge, sunset would fill the kitchen and front rooms. My room when growing up was dark, would only get sun for an hour or so in the morning, for the rest of the day it was dark.
That's why I appreciate sunlight in a room or house, for me it "cleans" the air of negativity and sadness and brings in positivity and light. Separated, each one working in their different areas of the city, Ted taking care of his son, and I of my two, Ted and my relationship grew stronger. Most of our time being together, would be in church. We realised to accept that we were both different.
Our personalities didn't clash as before. We could breathe and communicate better. This year, we went to Israel on a tour. Once again, this was something I never thought I would do. We all see Israel in our minds as how they show the country on the news. Gunshots, bombs....I even pictured myself being kidnapped and never be able to come back home.
The eleven day tour tourned out to be one of the best highlights of my life. I got baptised in the River Jordan. Teddy and I made our pledge before God in Cana of Galilee, the same place where Jesus turned water into wine. I felt so comfortable in Israel, it was like I belonged there. Their food, culture, history and the fact that we walked in the same places as Jesus did feel so special.
When back in Sough Africa, I focused on my business I purchased just before going to Israel. I made some changes. Put some handmade jewelry that I make, and also drinks and snacks. But I wanted more, I added selling airtime. Pick up point to Pargo Curriors. Benches were added, and with that my very own coffee shop. In doing this, I realised my dream of one day having my own business and having a coffee shop. To add to that, I have the freedom of being my own boss, meaning I can tend to my boys more often than before. I can now be a housewife, by doing the house chores before going to the store.
I can dress up as I want to as there is no dress code. I have the freedom to manage the store the way I want to with out being watched or judged. Should I need to dash to Welkom to see or assist my family, I just book my tickets and go, no need for begging my employer or waiting till i have sufficient leave days. What a Blessing indeed! This year, 2023, another family member gone, my father.
Someone whom I admire for his strength, patience and for his faith and adoration of God. No matter how tough life was treating him, how badly he was beaten and sworn at, he remained loyal to my mother till the very end. My brother's death, last year May, made a big impact in his life. He took over a month to recover from shock, he was really hurt. The whole of this year he would tell me he was tired and wants to go home. He had such a peaceful death. and for that I am grateful. He is resting now with Jesus.
Throughout my whole life, I never ever felt alone. I know that God is with me, He is my companion. And it is through Him that I get courage to push myself to go on each day. I always pray for strength, I did not have the habit of asking for a specific favour, as I do not want to be disappointed. In any case, God knows best. If its meant to be, God will make it happen.
Without this knowledge of God I would not have gotten this far. He is my protector and my provider, and my guider, my Everything!”
Business Talk would like to thank Fatima for sharing her story with our readers.
Make sure to go and check out Fresh The Laundry in Hunters Retreat. Great service with a smile!
I personally would like to thank Fatima for being who she is. She inspires so many and set an true example of how to preserve against all odds. I know, without a doubt, that our Heavenly Father is so very proud of you.
Keep going! May He lift you higher and higher!
Stella Ashworth for Business Talk.
Fatima's shares with us..
