Gilleam van zyl - no ordinary worship
I had the privilege to meet Gilleam in May this year when I was invited to attend an event hosted by Rugby Players for Jesus.
As the appointed MC, Gilleam stood out from the rest. He had a unique sense of humour, had the ability to make everyone feel right at home with a simple “hello.” He was humble and he knew how to lead worship.
I knew that this extraordinary gentleman had a story to tell, and I asked him to share his testimony with our readers.
This is his story…
"My name is Gilleam van Zyl and today I would like to share my testimony with you all. At first I thought that perhaps my story is not worth mentioning or impactful enough to reach anyone. I remember listening to other people’s testimonies thinking, “wow, what an incredible testimony”.
This left me feeling a bit insecure as some people went through much worse things than I. I then asked myself, “would I be able to reach anyone with my faith by sharing my testimony, even if it might not be as interesting as others’?”
However, listening to others share their personal experience with God so comfortably and at times, even hesitantly, it made me realize that no matter how big or small, one’s journey with God and rebirth in Him, is always worth mentioning.
In the Bible it is written, “true testimonies save souls”. There is power in sharing your testimony. To understand my testimony, it is important to first know where my story began. I grew up in a strict, Christian household in which my grandparents raised my sister and I. I often had questions regarding God, the Bible and religion in general; however, I was always met with a cold glare, and silenced, because how dare I question anything or have curiosities as a child?
The way in which we were raised goes as follows: we were seen but not heard, physical and verbal affection was out of the question, house- and outside chores were more important than schoolwork and this was justified because of tradition and religion. Dancing and singing was sinful. Being scared as a child was not considered normal child behaviour, it was considered cowardly and unacceptable. For example, I was not allowed to refuse to go out in the dead of night to fetch water from the well because I was ‘scared’.
This and many other instances had led to multiple beatings and, over the years, feelings of resentment, inferiority and anger. These feelings were not only towards my grandparents, but towards religion as well. Little did I know, that this would affect and shape the course of my life, including my actions.
In 1988 I moved to the windy and friendly city, Port Elizabeth. I started my own business which started booming shortly after it was established. I played rugby for the Griqualand West, Far Northern Transvaal and then EPB which opened a whole new world to me. A world full of parties, nightclubs, drinking, smoking, and women. Even when I was married, I had multiple physical encounters with other women.
As my popularity grew, so did my ego which caused me to end up in brutal fights with other men. This became my lifestyle. I had nine cases of assault against me in one year that ate at my nerves and had me searching for the solution at the bottom of beer bottles. At the time, I was unaware that my actions as an adult were rooted in my childhood traumas; subconsciously I was taking out my anger, resentment and feelings of inferiority – which I had bottled up as a child – out on the world.
One day, one of my employees and I drove to the bank to withdraw money and he said, “sir, God has just given me a message to relay specifically to you”. I responded in a sarcastic manner that now is not the time for ‘church talks’, we have work to do. Who did this guy think he was, telling me that God spoke to him about me?
He remained silent in the car… you could cut the silence with a knife. After returning to the office, my employee got out of the car and turned towards me and said, “God says don’t be like Jonah, because you will end up in the stomach of the fish and then cry out for help”. I was rather annoyed with him but left it at that. However, I could not stop replaying his words in my head and shake off this feeling that maybe, just maybe, there was truth behind what he said.
That evening, I found myself in front of my bible reading Jonah 1 – 3. I said to myself, “eish, this is too real”. What in my life could represent the fish in Jonah’s story? What will lead to my downfall, in the belly of the beast? Is my life or perhaps my business in danger? After two days of fighting with these daunting thoughts, I needed to take action. I phoned my brother and invited him to attend church with me that following Sunday. He thought that I was implying the death of a relative, friend or acquaintance… of course he was being sarcastic.
My brother knew of my lifestyle and my attitude towards religion, which wasn’t much different from his. He quickly realized that I was being serious in attending the sermon, to which he replied, “but brother, I don’t have ‘church attire’”. No matter, because I convinced him to go in his jeans. Unaware of what church we would attend, we started driving in a general direction until we found a church. Entering the church, we were met with people singing, dancing, clapping and speaking in funny languages.
We thought to ourselves that we must have taken a wrong turn somewhere or made a mistake going there, because what we saw was completely strange and unfamiliar to us, foreign even.
Not long after that, we were singing as well. Not going to lie, I was relieved when the worship was over and we could sit down. After what felt like hours, the pastor said something that made time freeze. It shook me to the core. He said with tears in his eyes, “God says there is a man seated here who should not wait until he is in the stomach of the fish like Jonah and then cry out for help”. Joh, can I get an Amen?! Hallelujah, praise the Lord!
Can you guess what happened next? There I was, a 135kg and almost two meter tall man, crying like a baby, because this time around, I listened and knew that God was speaking to me. You will know when God is speaking to you.
2000 years ago Jesus already bought you and me for the highest price that no one was prepared to pay. Even when we shut Him out, He is there, knocking at the door of our hearts, waiting patiently for us to open it. This time around, I did not wait for someone to call me to the front of the church, I walked up to the front, passed all the people and fell on my knees.
That evening, in a small God-obeying Pentecostal church, in the year 1994, I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ and have been walking in faith ever since. I have never been happier than when I chose to follow Him.
Two years later, God called me to minister fulltime and I am still an ordained Pastor at Immanuel Family Church in Sundays River. The Bible says that God speaks to us in many ways, in sickness and even in death. So, my friends, as you read this testimony, ask yourselves, “what is it that God is trying to say to you?”
Does my story resonate with you or perhaps someone you know? Is His voice loud enough for you to hear and if not, why not? Thus, open your heart to Him and allow him to fill you with his love and goodness.
May God bless you and bring you to full revelation of His love so you can also live life in a relationship with Him instead of religion. "
Team Talk would like to thank Gilleam van Zyl for sharing with our readers.
Keep being the bright shining light that the Lord is calling you to be.
Thank you for being an inspiration to many and may the Lord lift you higher and higher to the Glory of His name.
Stella Ashworth for Team Talk.
Share in my moments! Love Gilleam van Zyl
